By MariaMaria #523 CM/FM 3281 6/98

Intro from Dad

Dear precious Family,

1. Mama asked me for an introduction to this part of her interview, and of course I was delighted to help out! In this GN you'll get another wonderful peek into the thoughts and personal life of your queen, who loves you dearly. I always said that the Lord created her especially for me—and it's true, He did. But He also created her especially for you, in just the way she'd be the greatest help to you. He knew the role she would have to play in these Last Days, and He fitted her for it perfectly.

2. She's your queen, and because of her complete yieldedness and obedience to Him, the Lord has blessed her with tremendous wisdom, love, and every gift that she needs to do the job of serving you‚ which she does with great joy. She finds her happiness in fulfilling the role for which she was created—to pass on the Words of life to you!

3. So love her, cherish her, and pray for her above all, for she carries tremendous weight on those tiny shoulders. She has learned to cast it on the Lord, which makes it possible for her to carry it as gracefully as she does, but it's still a very big job—and your prayers can make it easier. So thank you for your love for Mama, manifested in your prayers for her. She loves you and appreciates them very much! And I love you, too!

Your father in the Lord, Dad

4. (Mama: ) Thank you, Dad, for that enthusiastic introduction from one of my most ardent fans. Your love really covers my multitude of shortcomings and weaknesses! You and the Lord certainly know what a mess I am and how incapable I am of doing anything or accomplishing anything at all.

5. The Lord has taken the weakest and most untalented and unknowledgeable person He could find to do this job, so that everyone will give Him all the glory. I want to make sure they do, so I have to tell them that you're a little blinded by love and it really colors the way you see me. It sure is sweet for both you and the Lord to love me in that way, when I'm so un­de­serving of it, and I really, really do appreciate it.

6. But I just want to again set the record straight and tell you that I'm nothing at all and I don't have anything at all in the natural like a lot of people do. I'm very simple and untalented and incapable of doing almost anything but asking questions‚ and sometimes even the questions are from others. I just pass them on to the Lord, because He's the one with the answers.

7. Dad said the Lord has blessed me with tremendous wisdom. If I have wisdom, it's only because the Lord gives me His Words in abundance that guide and instruct me what to do and what to tell you. If I have love‚ it's just because I try to follow Dad and the Lord's example. I never know what to do or how to do it unless I can get the Lord's specific instruction in prophecy.

8. Sometimes in prophecy the Lord will tell someone to "ask the queen and she will tell you" or "ask your mother Maria what she thinks." I always wonder why the Lord says this, because He knows very well that I don't know anything, and that what I'll do is run right to Him and ask Him what He thinks! There's no way I could do this job if I couldn't get all the answers from Jesus. The only wisdom I have comes from His Words which He pours out freely and constantly.

9. Thank you for your prayers that help me to pass these wonderful Words on to you. Dad always described himself as just a messenger boy, and I can say the same. I'm just a messenger girl, passing on the Lord's messages to you. That's all I know how to do! But I can't even do that unless He gives me the strength through your prayers. So I echo Dad's appreciation for the time and effort you spend to uphold me in your precious prayers.

Dad and Mama's Age Difference

10. (Question:) Did the difference in age between you and Dad make any difference?

11. (Mama: ) As far as affecting our love for each other, or our ability to get along well and enjoy each other, it didn't make any difference at all! It was a factor in our relationship, but our relationship was so beautiful, I don't think it could have been any more so any other way. So if it did affect it at all, it was in a positive way.

12. Dad was much older than me, and much wiser, very mature, and really taught me a lot. Dad had a lot of love. He was very patient, and most of the time I wasn't aware that he was teaching me, like a teacher with a student. It was just like he was helping me with counsel‚ as a friend with a friend. He was very gentle, very loving, very understanding, and simply taught me by example or through loving conversations.

13. Naturally I blew it from time to time, just like everyone else, and he would give me some pretty firm correction, which I received as from the Lord. I learned to "take it," not only for myself, but when he would give a hot talk that was directed to the Family‚ many times I was the only one there as the audience, and it was awesome to say the least. I couldn't be sensitive or take it personally—I had to receive it for the sake of others, so that you all could benefit from it. But that had nothing to do with our difference in age.

14. One thing about Dad being so much older is that he had so much more experience. I can see how it would have been easy for him to be very frustrated with me because of my lack of it. And though I'm sure he was at times, I remember him always trying to teach me very patiently, sharing his experience, but letting me make the final choice.

15. Another thing which I'm sure was a wonderful help in making things work so well between us is that Dad was such a new bottle! He was always ready to try new things when the Lord suggested them, and he so loved a new challenge! He was very young in spirit, and very willing‚ very flexible, really enjoyed change—and in that way he was more of a new bottle than I was a lot of the time!

16. The age difference didn't hinder our com­munication any; to the contrary, I would say that it made it easier. Dad knew how to listen, he understood women, and he knew how to love and live together in harmony. He had a fear of the Lord about making things right and not letting anything come between us‚ and he certainly kept the Lord in first place. These were things he had learned from experience, and it definitely made our relationship go much smoother than if we'd had to learn them all from scratch.

17. The fact that he was older and I was younger also made us a good team for our different ministries. He understood the needs of the older generation, and I the younger generation. At times he was not only my husband and lover but like my father‚ and I learned so very much from him.

18. In a way, what the Lord did with Dad and me—bringing us together as a team‚ and em­ power­ing us to accomplish so much more through our teamwork than we would have been able to as individuals—is what the Lord is asking of us as a Family now in spirit; to close the generation gap and become a tight team, with older and younger working together and complementing each other. The Lord knows we need each other desperately, and, in fact‚ will not be able to make it without each other!

19. In later years, when Dad needed a lot of care, I was able to help him with that because I was much younger, and therefore able to help do more. Of course, I needed help myself, due to my eye condition, etc. But it was certainly a lot easier than if I had been Dad's age and was suffering from many of the same afflictions which come with age.

20. God bless Dad, he really put up with a lot from us youngsters‚ and the Lord gave him supernatural faith that we'd make it—and I'm not just referring to our household and staff, but to all of you, dear Family. When we'd swing from one extreme to the other, Dad would sometimes shake his head and smile and say, "Our Family members are such extremists!" But he knew that the Lord was using it in most cases to accomplish His purpose, and that we'd get back on track eventually.

21. Another obvious reason for the Lord putting us together with such an age difference between us, besides the reasons we've covered here and I'm sure many more, is that the Lord needed Dad to be as old as he was, with the experience, maturity, wisdom and years to lead the Family. Then, when it was time for him to go Home and continue helping us from the other side‚ I needed to still be young enough to lead the Family, with the help of Dad's mantle which he passed on to me.

22. Besides the fact that we really comple­mented each other and didn't suffer any difficulties in our relationship because of age difference, the Lord also knew that it needed to be that way as a sample to you that it can be done—that old and young can live and work together very closely without a generation gap, and through unity accomplish much more for the Lord than any other way! Praise the Lord! All glory to Jesus! (See also "Ask Mama, No.1," ML #3192:50-70, GN 797.)

Relationship with Peter

23. (Question: ) How is your relationship with Peter different than the relationship you had with Dad?

24. (Mama:) One main difference that I can think of right off the bat is that Dad was God's chosen Endtime prophet—a very special and unique person! Peter is very special as well, and beautifully fulfills the role the Lord has given him. But the Lord has told us many times that even Peter and I together don't have the ­wisdom, the knowledge, the know-how, or the ability to lead the Family like Dad had. Peter and I know this, and it keeps us very desperate with the Lord, and through our desperation‚ the Lord is able to overcome our natural lacks and make us what we need to be to lead and shepherd the Family.

25. Dad was also very desperate with the Lord, and it was because Dad was so desperate and humble before the Lord that the Lord was able to use him like He did. Peter and I don't have many of the natural abilities that Dad had, but the Lord is able to give us what we need supernaturally, when we look to Him. Thus through our weakness and inability, the Lord is bringing the whole Family into much closer communication and greater desperation with Him—which we are going to need in the days to come whether we think we're smart or not!

26. The Lord used Dad's strengths and mine to complement and support each other, and Dad was always very thankful and appreciative, telling me that he couldn't do it without me. While the Lord used me in a great capacity with Dad—for which I give the Lord all the glory—I always felt that Dad was very far above me in most things, and we were by no means on the same level.

27. Dad never tried to make me feel inferior or under him‚ and neither his actions or his attitude ever made me feel that way. But it came from my seeing the Lord's very great anointing on him‚ and being fully aware of the fact that Dad was a very special person. He was always very loving with me, listening to me, taking my ideas and thoughts, and working with me and others. But we knew that Dad always had the final say, and when the Lord showed him something, we did our best to follow along and support what the Lord was doing.

28. I learned so much from Dad—I really can't emphasize that enough. I loved him so deeply and dearly, and I still do! We had a wonderfully loving relationship, the Lord made us a good team for His work, and I was very‚ very happy with him. I'm so thankful that he's still around to help us, because we need him desperately!

29. With Peter, the Lord has made us more of an equal team; I feel like we're more on the same level. I have seniority, if you want to put it that way, but really we work together very closely, praying, counseling, communicating, and most of all hearing from the Lord! Now in our relationship we give the Lord the last say—literally. If there's ever a difference of opinion, we take it to the Lord and let Him or Dad set us straight. Peter and I also complement each other in our responsibilities‚ and I need him as much as he needs me.

30. The Lord has also given us a very pas­sion­ate and sweet romantic relationship, which makes things really fun, and we enjoy working together very much! Of course, my personal relationship with Peter is different from my personal relationship with Dad‚ because they're two completely different personalities, with different likes and dislikes. It's impossible to compare them, really.

31. Dad is still here with us—and I love him just as much as ever! We're going to be together forever, and while we're still here on this Earth, he's very near and dear, helping us in just about every way, and continuing to run things from the other side! God bless him! We sure couldn't do it without him!

Yielding to Dad and Peter

32. (Question:) Do you find it hard to yield to Dad or Peter?

33. (Mama:) In general I would say no, because I really do respect Peter, and naturally I had great respect for Dad. Dad was really so far above me in just about every way. He was the Lord's prophet and a very exceptional person, and I didn't have a hard time seeing the Lord's anointing on him. I knew that I needed to follow and yield, and I really, really loved him, which made that very easy.

34. Even with Dad, however‚ there were occasions, like I explained in another one of these Letters, when I was tempted to think it might have just been Dad's personality to want to do something a certain way, and at those times, when I wanted to do something else‚ it was a little more difficult. But in general I would say that I was pretty yielded and it wasn't difficult for me. (See "Ask Mama No.2," ML #3248:3-8, GN 850.)

35. One way in particular that I'm sure the Lord used to test my yieldedness was in the area of moving. Dad loved to move and change often, whereas I was much more content to stay in the same place for a longer period of time. I enjoyed being set up to do our work‚ and the lack of variety didn't bother me. I'm not a pioneer by nature, like Dad was, and his constantly wanting to move around and change was sometimes a test of my yieldedness.

36. But again, I learned to see the great wisdom in it. It kept us free and mobile‚ desperate with the Lord‚ and it helped to keep us secure and our location undiscovered, which was a great responsi­bility in our care for Dad. Plus it helped us to learn about the needs of the Family in different countries as we saw the conditions they labored under. It gave us the world vision. There are all kinds of ways the Lord used it‚ and now I'm convinced it was His perfect will. Praise the Lord!

37. As far as yielding to Peter, we both yield to each other a lot. We counsel and pray together, and one thing that I'm sure helps me to yield more easily is that I'm very aware that I don't know everything! In fact, I know very little—and in comparison to the Lord, I know absolutely nothing! I know that I need Peter desperately as my other half, and that the Lord put us together to be a team so that together we could lead you, our dear Family.

38. We are also both very aware of how little we know, even as a team, and that we desperately need the Lord's help. We go to Him together frequently, and if there's ever something that we don't agree on, we take it to the Lord and get His answers. That helps a lot.

39. I think the fact that I got in the habit of yielding to Dad over the years, and Peter is used to yielding to Dad and me‚ as he worked so closely with us for so many years, has made it not so difficult for us to continue yielding in our marriage.

40. So in short, I would say the answer is no, it's not hard for me to yield to Peter, neither was it hard with Dad. But I do have moments when I'm tested and the Lord works in my life just like He works in yours. I'm still learning, and I pray that I'm getting more yielded every day, most of all to our wonderful Husband and Lover, Jesus!

Mama's Description of Herself!

41. (Question: ) How would you describe yourself as a person?

42. (Mama:) Well, knowing that other people probably view me differently than I see myself, I'll try to explain things from my point of view. It's interesting, isn't it, the difference between the way people see us and imagine us to be and the way we see ourselves. Of course, only the Lord knows what we're truly like. If I wanted to give you an accurate reading, I should probably just ask the Lord to describe me to you—but since you asked me, I'll give a little description.

43. You know I feel very shy. That's always one of the first things that comes to me when I think about myself. I think recently the Lord's helped me to overcome it, as He's been helping me to learn more humility—and since shyness is really pride, through the Lord's humblings I'm becoming less shy and self-conscious.

44. Another personality trait that comes to mind is curiosity. I would say that I'm a very curious person. I like to learn new things and hear all the details about things. One of the things I love so much about prophecy—besides the fact that it's the Lord speaking to us directly and giving us His love and life-giving Words—is that I learn so much through it! I love the feeling of having a really big question that I don't know the answer to, and then receiving the answer from the Lord, which makes perfect sense and teaches me so much and completely solves the problem! It's such a thrill!

45. I've often told our folks here that it's like Christmas for me when I receive a big batch of tapes outside my door with new messages from the Lord on them!—Or on our prayer morning, which we have every two weeks, when every­­one takes some time to hear from the Lord; so on that day I get an extra amount of mess­ages from the Lord!

46. I guess that part of my personality also makes it easier for me to do my job as a shepherdess and as your queen—hearing not only from the Lord, but from many of you. Because I love you and I love to hear from you, it's not difficult for me to listen to what you write, but rather very interesting, and through your letters I feel like I know you personally. I honestly mean it when I say that I love to hear from you! Praise the Lord!

47. Although I'm shy, I do love people and getting to know them, understand them, etc. When I used to go out with Dad, when my eyes were better‚ I loved to sit in a little café or public place and "people watch." Dad loved that as well, seeing the many different types of people and their different personalities and characteristics. I enjoy talking with our folks here, which I do mostly over the intercom, and although we mostly discuss our work‚ it's still very interesting and enjoyable for me. Thank the Lord!

48. I don't feel very "queenly," but since the Lord has made me your queen, I accept that role and do my best to serve you in love. But I feel very much like anyone else, and it's very easy for me to put myself in others' shoes and imagine what they're going through.

49. I guess in describing myself, that's one thing that really stands out—I feel just like you! I enjoy things that most women probably enjoy—like wearing something that Peter or the boys like, or dressing up for a special occasion. I enjoy the wonderful pleasures in life that the Lord has given us for enjoyment—touching, kissing‚ talking, eating, listening; I can't use my eyes as much now, but I still enjoy looking at things, and especially people, when I can.

50. All this might sound like I go on all sorts of adventures and do all sorts of things, ha! In reality, although I do enjoy doing all those things, thankfully most of them are able to be done within our little room. But the Lord has given us a very rewarding ministry of getting out His Words to you, and I have to honestly say that's what I enjoy the very most—hearing His fresh, wonderful Words from Heaven, and "packaging" them for you! And then hearing from you about them, or about further needs or questions. It's very rewarding, and I couldn't ask for anything more fulfilling in life! I love you!

Mama's Dislikes

51. (Question:) Are there any things you really dislike and that really upset you?

52. (Mama: ) There are a few. I think the things that I dislike the most are things that people do that hurt themselves or others. I ­really don't like to see people hurt.

53. Of course, sometimes we have to be hurt in order to bring about the Lord's purpose in our lives. For example‚ if we need correction, even if it's going to hurt‚ we still need it, and it's through the hurt and the breaking that we're made better. Or sometimes circumstances are such that doing the right thing is going to be difficult for you or someone else—but the Lord expects us to do it anyway. So sometimes it can't be avoided, and sometimes the Lord even engineers hurtful or difficult circumstances in our lives so that we'll grow closer to Him.

54. All that to say, not all hurt is bad. But what I'm talking about here is when something is unnecessarily hurtful to someone, or hurtful in a bad way—when it's through our unprayer­ful­ness, lack of love‚ or disobedience that we bring about the hurt, Lord help us. The first things that come to mind that I really dislike, because through them people hurt themselves or others, are:

55. 1) When our folks watch bad movies which pollute their spirits and influence them negatively. I don't think people always realize just how powerful an influence movies have on them, even subconsciously. It really bothers me when people watch bad movies, because I know it's corrupting their spirits and hurting them, even if they don't realize it.

56. 2) Another thing I strongly dislike is when people gossip about each other. Not so long ago we put out a few good messages from the Lord and Dad on the subject‚ so I sure hope our folks are getting the point. It's so sad to see people hurt, offended, stumbled, and crippled in their service for the Lord because of some­one's gossiping about something that's none of their business! Lord forgive them!

57. Now, I hope that doesn't scare people from sharing their hearts freely when they write me, even if sometimes it involves talking about others. Sometimes when they write they have to talk about others in order to explain the situation. But that is the right time and place to do it, and hopefully they can be prayerful about the way they do it—really consider the facts carefully and pray that the Lord can help them to be accurate and loving in the way they present the situation.

58. Of course, I don't just go on one story that we hear from someone. If we're going to do anything about a situation‚ we always ask the Lord to help fill in any details or the other side that we might be missing, and thank the Lord, He's always faithful to do so. But I know the Lord will bless our folks for really being careful when they write to do so in the spirit and with love—not maliciously or, even if not purposely, giving the story a twist in their favor.

59. It's something that I teach our folks here and have gone over again and again with some of them—the importance of presenting situations prayerfully and carefully when they talk about anyone to anyone! And hopefully they're talking about it to the right people. It's really a responsibility, no matter who you're talking to, even if it's your shepherds who are supposed to be able to "take it," to present things prayerfully so that they are as accurate as poss­ible. And may all of our folks pray desperately for the Lord to put a watch before their mouths and completely stop talking about others in situations that are not appropriate!

60. 3) Another thing that really hurts me and that I don't like is when people say unkind things to others‚ especially to children, or don't show enough love. Lord help us, we all need to always be asking the Lord for more love. That's something we can never stop growing and making progress in—there's always room to grow! It really saddens me when I see an obvious lack of love, and when it's manifested in unkind words‚ they often can discourage and wound someone's spirit in a way that takes a long time to heal and get over.

61. We're all responsible to others for the words we say and the effect these words have on them. In the Lord's eyes, no matter who you're talking to, whether they're supposed to be "spiritually strong enough to take it" or not, you still should pray and ask the Lord to help you say things lovingly—whether it be sharing your heart‚ giving observations‚ or just chatting casually. Lord help us all to be more prayerful and to pray for more love in our words and actions! (See also "Ask Mama No.3‚" ML #3249:58-69, GN 851.)

Natural Weaknesses

62. (Question:) Apart from your NWOs, do you have any natural weaknesses that you can't do anything about, that wouldn't really be considered NWOs‚ that you just have to learn to live with or work around?

63. (Mama:) That's a very interesting ques­tion. I was thinking and praying about that the other day, as I have several weaknesses that I've had all my life, and the Lord has gently brought me along and taught me lessons through them. I haven't really gotten big "victories" over them; rather the Lord has worked around them and kept me on track through other things.

64. For example, I always thought of myself as a fairly strong person. Not strong physically‚ but strong in willpower and determination. But the reality is that I'm very weak in certain areas—for example, with my eating. I really enjoy eating, and I often just don't have the willpower not to eat the whole portion that's served to me, even if it's too much.

65. Now I have problems with my appendix, and the Lord has told me that to keep it from acting up, I have to eat less. So He's given me a safeguard or a check; I know if I eat too much, my appendix is going to act up. I've told the ones who serve my food to give me smaller portions and I eat less now. I have a fear of the Lord about it and a safeguard to help me.

66. I explained in another question about my very sore eyes that the Lord has had to let my eyes be afflicted to teach me to lean on Him more‚ and to keep me from doing all that reading, which I just didn't stop otherwise (ML #3248:46-56, GN 850). So I believe with some of our weaknesses, the Lord has mercy on us and knows that we're not really going to get the complete victory over them in this life by ourselves, so He puts us in a place where we are forced to get the victory, or are physically restrained from yielding to that weakness.

67. Another good example of that is with my work—and yours too, for that matter. The Lord has told us that one reason He hasn't given us abundant finances yet is because not only did He want to keep us humble and dependent upon Him, but He also wanted to keep us out witnessing and preaching the Gospel, and our lack of finances has compelled us to do that. Our needing finances has kept us very desperate with the Lord, and has motivated you to go out‚ even on days when you might not have normally gone out, just because you needed to bring in the funds to run your Homes.

68. I know many of you would say that some of the ways you've been fundraising recently haven't been very fruitful spiritually in the way of getting the witness out—and that's sad. Lord help us to be faithful to witness above all in all that we do‚ and then the Lord will bless and bring in the finances that we need!

69. Well, that was a little off the subject, but back to my work: I was explaining to one of the girls the other day how the deadlines I have on my work keep me progressing and pressing in. I not only have the motivation of your need to receive the Word, but I have a very present motivation of people asking me questions and needing me to meet my deadlines.

70. Otherwise, when I receive a tape with a GN that I've been working on and it's over an hour long, at 350 words per minute, and I know that it's going to take me several hours to go over it and make needed wording changes, etc., I really would have a hard time getting into it—except for the fact that I know if I don't go over it, our folks here won't be able to do their work on it, and it wouldn't get out to you. So my dead­lines keep me moving.

71. A saying that some of our folks have around here is that "our deadlines are our lifelines!" And in a way it's really true! We should be very thankful for the things the Lord gives us to keep us on track, to keep us moving‚ progressing and fighting—though they may not seem too pleasant at the time and they may require some stretching and des­peration on our part to make it through—because in many cases that's how the Lord keeps us alive spiritually!

72. Some people are very, very lonely, and they really long for a mate. They wonder why the Lord hasn't given them one in all this time. Often the Lord has said that's His way of keeping them close to Him—because He knows that if He gave them a mate at this point in time, they wouldn't be as desperate and keep Him in first place, and therefore would suffer spiritually. So the "affliction" of being lonely is light in comparison to what would happen if they did get a mate‚ but then didn't keep the Lord first and got off track spiritually, then had to really fight and work to get back on track.

73. The problem is that we don't often see things that way. We often look at our circumstances and complain that things are difficult for us. However, the Lord has engineered those circumstances to bring about a greater benefit in our lives. With my eye condition, the Lord knew it was better for me to be completely dependent upon Him, so for a long time I couldn't read or use my eyes much at all. Now, although still sensitive and sore, they're amazingly better, thanks to everyone's prayers and the Lord's wonderful love, and I can use them much more than before. However, the Lord is still not permitting me to read, because He knows that the benefits of my bad eyes outweigh the drawbacks.

74. That's one of the very great benefits of personal prophecy—hearing from the Lord about your personal life‚ circumstances, feelings, and any questions you have. Often the Lord sees things so differently, and when He explains to us the beautiful reason He's allowed something, it can give you real peace—or at least make it easier for you to accept the circumstances as from the Lord, and thus con­centrate on learning the lesson rather than trying to change the conditions.

75. Another natural weakness that I have, which the Lord has used for His good‚ is my very poor memory. It keeps me desperate with the Lord to help me remember the things He knows I need to. Besides making me turn more to Him and receive His thoughts—because mine are so insufficient—it has also helped me be more faithful to write things down, keep lists, and be more organized—and thus more efficient than if I had a very good memory. So the Lord has even used that weakness for my good. Although many times I've wished that I could remember things better and I've really prayed for a better memory, obviously the Lord knows that I'm more useful to Him this way. If not‚ He would help me to change and progress.

76. I hope this can encourage some of you who have personal weaknesses that there's hope for the Lord to use you, even if you can't overcome or get the victory in this life. I believe that in some of these cases the victory is not so much overcoming those weaknesses physically but rather compensating for them by being extra prayerful and desperate with the Lord to help you. In that way your weaknesses become your strengths, and then if the Lord does want you to actually physically overcome it, because you're desperate with Him and yielded and in tune, He can show you and help you.

77. There are some weaknesses that the Lord definitely wants us to overcome, and you shouldn't take what I've just said as an excuse to quit fighting or progressing in an area. But you should rather apply the keys to victory—which are getting desperate with the Lord and telling Him that you're willing to do whatever it is He'd have you do in order to gain the victory!—Whether that means continuing to be desperate and humble with Him, and allowing Him to compensate for your weakness; or whether it means taking the steps that He asks of you in order to help you overcome it‚ or at least make substantial progress.

78. I guess no matter what the case, the solution is to be desperate with the Lord and willing—willing to either fight to overcome it, or willing to accept it as part of the Lord's gift to you to keep you close to Him and humble, and thereby more useful in the way that He would have you be.

79. Again, I can't emphasize enough how much it helps to hear these things from the Lord directly when you find yourself in a difficult or trying situation. He can help you to see things more clearly and give you the incentive you need to make the right decision, no matter what it is He's asking of you. Praise the Lord!

80. It's also encouraging to remember that even if you feel you do have numerous "thorns in the flesh" that the Lord uses to keep you humble, and that make you feel very incapable in many areas‚ we have hosts of Heavenly helpers who are also there to help compensate for our weak areas! All we have to do is let them!

LNF on my eyes:

81. Recently Dad gave me some tremendous news: He said, "I asked the Lord for a special gift that I know is going to make you very happy in your service to Him. Can you guess what it is? You might think of more than one thing that the Lord has especially blessed you with and given you, but this one is something our dear Family members have been praying for over many, many years—that your eyes would be healed.

82. "You know I've prayed for the healing of your eyes many times‚ and that I wanted to take your affliction on myself because I was so brokenhearted to see your suffering. The Lord had His will and way in this affliction and it has borne beautiful fruit in your life, but the time has come that you should be healed, and not just in a little way. So that's what my present is for you, Honey. I've asked the Lord to bless you this coming year with better vision, less soreness in your eyes, absence of headaches, and the ability to use your eyes more.

83. "The Lord loves to give us the desires of our hearts and He bestows gifts on us, and that is what I asked for you. He asks us what we would like and grants us a special desire. That's my desire for this year, Honey, and I have received His reply: 'Go in peace, for thy faith hath made her whole.' My faith? I believe He's going to do it, Honey! And what about your faith? All things are possible to him that believeth, and I believe that you believe He can do it, too! And so it shall be done on Earth as it is in Heaven! Hallelujah!

84. "I love you, my dearest sweet love! Next to Jesus, you are my dearest, sweet love‚ and will always be. Thank you for hanging on all those years. Now the glory of the Lord has arisen upon you, and your time to shine is now, and you're doing great! Thank you for loving Peter, and for taking such good care of the Family. I love you!—Dad." (End of message from Dad)