4/89—Mama's Vision for "Raise 'em Right"! DO 2560 Maria #107

1. I'm sure that you parents & childcare people will be very happy to get this new book on childcare! PTL! I think most of you folks who work with children would agree that you can always use more help, counsel & instruction regarding how to take care of kids.—Any help that you can get is always welcome.

2. But it's possible that others of you may wonder why we need another childcare book‚ since we already have some excellent childcare books, as well as quite a number of Letters & lessons on the subject. In fact, it's possible that you may even wonder more when you realise that this new book consists almost entirely of summaries from System books!

3. The answer is that while our previous pubs emphasised & dwelt primarily with the spiritual principles of how to bring up our children in the Lord, the emphasis of this new book is primarily practical.—It gives countless specific examples & how-to's on how to translate the somewhat abstract principles of love & understanding into visible, easy-to-express-&-understand words & actions that you can put into practice with your children. We already realise that the most important thing is love‚ but we still need help in learning how to put that love into action, how to manifest it in concrete ways.

4. So this is the main idea of this new book: It's a series of illustrations on how to really love your children. Although we love our children, most of us can definitely profit from seeing more samples on how to express that love, how to translate it into loving actions! Many of us do naturally a lot of the things the book recommends, but there is always room for improvement.

5. Even though you love your children, you may be seeking the best way to express that love! Most of us simply need a little direction‚ a little guidance, a sample of how to best manifest that love.—Which is what we believe this book will help provide.

6. Let's face it‚ we don't really have time to experiment much with our children. But the System childcare experts have been experimenting a lot, because they've been so desperate. They have done countless studies & experiments to try to find out what are the best & most effective ways to raise & treat children.—And we can benefit from their findings.

7. Most of the people who have written these books we've summarised are experts on childcare, they love children & they've made the care of children their life's work‚ their major ministry.—So they know a lot about the various techniques & tried-&-proven methods of training & teaching children. They've had a lot of time to do surveys, to talk to thousands & thousands of parents, & interview thousands upon thousands of children, & they've conducted a lot of research & have come up with a lot of results.—So why shouldn't we learn what we can from them, especially if they have a lot of advice which will benefit us & our kids! (—"Use It!"—ML #27)

WE DON'T "KNOW IT ALL"!

8. I've heard about some of our people who, after reading some of these book summaries on marriage or childcare, exclaimed, "My goodness!—I'm so surprised that these Systemites know some things that we didn't know!"—Ha! I thought that was sooo funny!—And it made me realise that some of our folks can sometimes tend to be a little self-righteous along those lines, thinking that "we indeed are the people!" Well, we are the people in some respects, we certainly are God's people, there's no question about that. But in other respects, we can't just assume that we have an edge on everybody else in every other field!

9. We are not experts in everything. Of course‚ we should be experts in witnessing, because that's what our entire lives are devoted to. And we should be experts on Scripture memorisation & Bible Prophecy & knowledge of the Future. But just because there are a few things—and very important things—that we're experts on‚ we cannot claim or assume to be experts on everything, only the things that we've had the time to really concentrate on.

10. I think most of us realise that we simply have not had the time to concentrate too much on our children or our marriages. We've had to "seek first the Kingdom of God" & put first things first by doing our best to "preach the Gospel in all the World to every creature!"—Mat.6:33; Mark 16:15. That's what the Lord has wanted us to do, & I think we have fulfilled His Word & prepared our work without & made it fit for ourselves in the field, but there hasn't been too much time afterwards to build our own house! (Pro.24:27) In some ways, we've saved others, but we haven't always been able to save our own children & marriages as much as we'd like to.

11. I'm not saying we don't know anything about children—we do know a lot about children, TTL, & we are experts in leading them to the Lord & teaching them to believe & follow His Word. But I think as far as always knowing how to best communicate with them & handle all their various problems, there's still a lot we could learn.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: LOVE!

12. Of course, we have a great advantage over the World's experts because we have the Lord & His Love, which outweighs any advantage they may seem to have over us! "Love never fails," & in the final analysis, Love conquers all & Love will take care of even our bunglings & mistakes.—"Love covereth a multitude of sins."—1Pet.4:8.

13. With or without the experts, because we have the Lord, He gets us through a lot of things that the System doesn't even know how to handle. Because they don't have the Lord & the Word, they are lacking the most basic & essential ingredients to truly succeed in childrearing. But what they do have, & what this book proves they have, is practical advice, practical methods which can be used to express love to children.

14. Thank the Lord‚ we have started off on the right foot. We already have the basics: We're saved‚ we have Eternal Salvation through Jesus, we have the Lord's Love, we're doing His Work & are in His full-time service. So we're completely on the right track to begin with, PTL!—And without real love, God's Love, all the expertise in the World is nothing, as the Word brings out.—"Though I speak with the tongues of men & of Angels‚ & though I have all knowledge, yet have not Love‚ I am nothing, & it profiteth me nothing!"—1Cor.13.

15. So if you don't even have the Lord's Love or Salvation, most of this counsel that the experts offer—even though they're good ideas—is not going to do you much good at all. So the main thing is to have the Lord's Love, then even if we don't have all these specifics, we'll muddle through.

WHY NOT "USE IT"?!

16. But I really believe that with these guidelines & specifics, this practical know-how, it can make our time with our children even more fruitful & enjoyable. If we don't have all this counsel, I'm sure we'll muddle through & the Lord will help & keep us & our kids.—We'll win in the end regardless because we have the Lord. So if we're content with just muddling through with our children, then we really don't need all this.—We'll still get there in the end, & our kids will get there & everything will work out all right.

17. But if we want to smooth the way a little bit & make it easier on our kids & easier on us, then why don't we learn what we can from the experts who have devoted their lives to the subject? As I've said‚ we have the spiritual knowledge & principles‚ there's no problem there, we're already founded & grounded on the solid Rock spiritual foundation of faith in the Lord & His Love.—But why not take what we can use from the System if it will help us put that love into practice?

18. I'm not saying that you have to have this or you'll fail without it, I just think that having this counsel is going to help make your own lives & your children's lives even happier & more fruitful. The Word tells us, "In the multitude of counsellors there is safety & wisdom" (Pro.11:14; 15:22, 24:6), & in dealing with children we need all the wisdom of the ages & the sages & even today's experts—everything we can get to help us!

19. The Lord wants us to avail ourselves of all the help we can get with our kids.—And a lot of these writers whose books we've summarised are Christians, & what they have to say is good sound counsel. So in the case of the Christian writers quoted in this book, in many ways, they have started off on the right foot too, on the same foundation of faith in the Lord & His Word that we have, so we should be able to listen to them & heed their counsel.

20. But even from the non-Christian System experts, there is a lot we can learn! They have studied & observed natural principles, & they know what works & what doesn't work. "Every good gift & perfect gift cometh from Above!"—Jam.1:17. Because they have a love for children—even a natural love in some cases—the Lord has helped them to come up with some pretty good practical methods of improving relationships with kids.

21. So thank the Lord for providing this good material & wise counsel! As Dad has always said, you don't throw away things just because the System uses them, you take what's good & you use it!—And who can use it better than we can? In fact, sometimes I think that maybe the Lord has helped them to see all these things & write them down for our sake, because we can put it to so much better use than they can! It will go much further in our lives & in the lives of our children than it will ever go with them. With most of them‚ it's just natural love, parental love‚ & it will only go so far.—And without the right basics; the Lord & His Love & His Word, it certainly can't go far enough!

22. So who could better use such material than us? Of course, it does help other parents, particularly other Christians, but we can certainly use it better than anyone else, & I'm sure the Lord knows this, & that's why He helped us to get ahold of these different books! After all, who else besides us has such a goal & vision in mind for their children, such an important ministry for their future?! So why shouldn't we profit from these writings & use them more than anybody else? PTL! I just hate to see all this good counsel wasted, so why let the System alone have it when they don't even know how to apply it within the proper context & can never take it as far as we can?

DO WHAT YOU CAN, ONE STEP AT A TIME!

23. Please don't try to do everything that this book talks about all at once!—You'd never be able to use it all anyway, you simply don't have time! In fact, you couldn't practice it all at once because some ideas would conflict with & contradict each other, so you just can't do everything!

24. You just have to pick the things that the Lord lays on your heart, that you feel might be fruitful, & try those. Perhaps even discuss some of the different ideas with your children & ask them if they would like to try them, & just see what works. There are so many different methods & alternatives presented in this book, you'll just have to take what best suits you & your particular situation & children. Just take it one step at a time, using & trying whatever the Lord lays on your heart or inspires you to try.

25. There are a lot of practical ways to show love & understanding to your children, but you can't get so busy looking at your book every ten minutes, trying to do everything that it says, that you forget about your poor child!—Ha! This book is meant to be a handbook‚ a reference book of ideas, & you are not obligated to try to use all of them.—And you certainly shouldn't get under bondage to any of its counsel, thinking that you've got to do everything the book says! —If you do‚ you'll probably have a nervous breakdown!—Ha! So just pray & take what you think will work in your particular situation.

26. And remember, all of this material is from System books, & although we've tried to go over it as thoroughly as we can, & we've tried to only pull out the things that we felt were suitable for our use & in accordance with our Scriptural beliefs, if you feel we've overlooked something & there's something in the book that you think shouldn't be there, it's not the end of the World & we're sorry, & you should simply overlook it too. In other words, you just have to be led of the Lord to "choose the good & eschew the evil."—1Pet.3:11.

27. In fact, we've purposely left some material in the book which does not specifically apply to our Family so much, but could be a real help to some of our outside friends & associates with whom you may want to share it. By doing this, we've broadened the scope & application of the book, thus it can be a tremendous tool, not only for our own children, but also for those to whom we are ministering outside the Family. PTL!

28. We hope & pray that "Raise 'em Right" will be a real blessing to you & your precious children! GBY! ILY!