DO 206410/85

[HomeARC note (9/98): The Charter is the current source of Family policy and rules regarding the discipline of minors.]

1. I VERY SELDOM USED CORPORAL PUNISHMENT ON MY OWN TEENS AFTER THEY BECAME GROWN.—I mean grown as big as David or even more, because corporal punishment is not the best solution for teen misbehaviour! The night my father took a strap to my 14-year-old sister for staying out all night with her boyfriend, she ran away & married him the next day! It often increases their resistance & their rebellion & they feel misjudged & mistreated!

2. WHOEVER'S GOING TO BE TEACHING TEENAGERS IS GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN THAT CORPORAL PUNISHMENT, EXCEPT AS A LAST RESORT, IS NOT THE ANSWER TO OUR KIND OF TEENAGERS! ...

3. OUR TEENAGERS KNOW THE LORD, THEY KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT‚ THEY KNOW WHAT'S WRONG, they know us, they're reared in love & righteousness & the right way & I don't think we should have to apply physical violence to our children. ...

4. OUR KIDS HAVE HAD SUCH INSTRUCTION & SUCH EDUCATION & SUCH MARVELLOUS SPIRITUAL UPBRINGING, THEY'RE FAR BEYOND THE SYSTEM TEENAGERS as far as understanding is concerned! The other day I came out on the porch & Mary Dear thought that Dora was going to tell me something about how she'd been naughty, & she burst into tears & hid her face in Dora's shoulder, she was that sensitive about it. It just really upset her to think that she was going to be shamed right in front of Grandpa‚ exposed! At three years old she's that sensitive, that knowledgeable‚ with that much understanding!

5. SO I'D SAY EVEN WITH SOMEBODY THAT SENSITIVE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPANK'M, AT LEAST NOT USUALLY, THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF WAYS TO DEAL WITH THEM. Our kids are so sensitive in the Spirit & so knowledgeable & with such understanding, with such mature wisdom & a desire to be good & to please, you don't usually have to [spank them]! If I just point my finger at Techi she sobers up!

6. AFTER MY FIRST FAMILY GOT TO BE AS OLD AS DAVIDA & DAVID, WE SELDOM USED MUCH CORPORAL PUNISHMENT.—Except with Deborah‚ who was a horrible rebel from the beginning, her mother made her that way. Eve defended her & no matter what she did, she stood between us, & Deborah just could get away with anything, because her mother would justify & vindicate her & stand between us & defend her. So finally I just said, "Okay, she's your child, you take care of her, I'm not going to have anything to do with her! You made her the spoiled brat she is, you take care of her!"—And you can see how she turned out!

7. BUT I THINK THE OTHER THREE TURNED OUT PRETTY WELL! They respected me & obeyed me, but when they got as old as David & Davida‚ if I'd just point my finger at them or say a firm word, they'd whhsst‚ obey like that, because they knew I meant business! Now if they had just sluffed it off & been sassy & defiantly rebellious & disobeyed after that, I would have [spanked] them & they knew it! ... But I didn't have to, because they heeded the first warning‚ because they knew that meant business!

8. SO I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO USE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT WITH THESE TEENAGERS WHO KNOW BETTER! I think we're going to have to let the Family know that when we talked about giving a few swats to kids, "applying the rod," we were talking about the [younger] ones who can't understand much else! … Sometimes you have to give'm a little swat or a spank on their bottom or something.—But usually not these other big kids, they know better!

9. THERE ARE OTHER WAYS YOU CAN CORRECT THEM, I DON'T EVEN LIKE TO USE THE WORD "PUNISH" THEM. That's what chastening means, it does not only mean punishment, it means child-training. The thing that hurts them the worst is first of all just to displease‚ they really don't like to displease, & next worst, to be shamed before others! To have their misdeeds brought out in the open before you is bad enough, but if they go further, to deal with them in front of others is even worse! They're terribly peer-conscious & they want to appear right & good in the eyes of their peers, their fellow children & teenagers, etc.

10. SO SOME OF YOU NEED TO REVISE YOUR ATTITUDE ON HOW TO CORRECT YOUNG PEOPLE IF WE'RE GOING TO START SPECIALISING IN TRAINING TEENAGERS! I mean by that, subteens & even our older children who are not yet subteens, but are mature enough to be treated like teenagers. ...